WHAT IS GOING ON???

So...I don't know if God is trying to tell me something, or if these are all just coincidences. But, I wrote about how I "lost" Caleb at the park the other day...but more has happened since then. On Sunday, we were letting the boys splash around in the shallow end of the pool. There were three of us adults right there, and somehow Caleb managed to step off of the step that takes him from the shallow end to the deep end. I looked over just in time to see his little head bobbing and I can see his mouth saying "mommy"...very panicked. I didn't hesitate to jump into the 70 degree water and pull him out. Right after I jumped in, so did my dad, and my mom was already in the shallow end with the boys. I was shaking and thought if I hadn't looked at that split second, he would have gone under, and I wouldn't have necessarily known it right away. Let this be a lesson to everyone that these things happen, whether or not adults are right there, and that is why adults must be right by these kiddos when they swim. If we weren't there, I can't even think of what would have happened. Well, if that wasn't bad enough, last night, we "lost" Caleb again. This one was weird...I was actually playing around on my blog, and DS had come into the computer room to check it out. Caleb was sitting in the kitchen eating a snack and watching Bob the Builder. DS walked back out (after about 5 minutes) and I hear him saying, "Caleb?" over and over again. I am thinking, oh, Caleb must have fallen asleep. Then, I hear DS go outside and start shouting Caleb's name. So, of course, I jump up and realize Caleb is no where to be seen. I ask DS why he checked outside, and he said the back door was open and the lights were all out in the backyard. SCARY!!! Caleb would never go outside in the dark without lights, and the backdoor being open, not just unlocked, but open was so scary. Did someone sneak into our house and kidnap him? That was the thought we both had! So, we immediately split up looking for him. I checked upstairs to see if he decided to watch tv upstairs...no dice. I looked for him in his room, in his bathroom, in the bathtub...no dice. I run downstairs to see that DS has now gone into the garage and opened it and is starting to chase a car down the road. He is completely panicked and him and I without saying anything both have the same thought...somebody just took our son in their car and he is gone. I ran around the side of the house screaming his name, and then we met back inside. Both in tears, I grabbed the phone and said I am calling 911. Right at that time, we hear a giggle. A giggle from a little boy who thought he was being funny. He was hiding under the table in the nook area. You see, daddy had brought home candy and we had told him he could only have one. So, he had snuck another piece of candy, and the scissors (which is not allowed) and was trying to open his candy. When he heard DS coming, he hid because he was afraid he would get into trouble. He didn't come out when we called him, because he thought he would get into trouble for getting candy. Both DS and I started absolutely crying when we found him, and that set off Caleb crying. He had no idea what that felt like to us. We had a long talk about no matter what you are doing, you answer mommy and daddy the FIRST time they call your name. I have had enough of these scares lately. I feel like God keeps giving me second chances with him, but I wonder how many I get.

Lord, I ask you to protect Caleb and keep him safe and close to home. Amen

Our Big Day!

Well, I know I have shared on here many times about how we are helping to start a new church. We finally launched our first official church service this past Sunday. I had to get there at 6:30am along with all the other children's ministry workers in order to make sure we were set up and ready to go. The past three Sundays have been spent "practicing" setting up, teaching, and tearing down (since we are meeting in a high school). We had 117 children total between the two services, which is absolutely fabulous. We were pleased and yet not overwhelmed. God is good! We had about 380 adults and children come to the two services. It feels as if this day was a long awaited wedding day that I have been planning and planning and planning some more. I am so excited to have been a part of something so amazing! It has been awesome to watch the way God has brought us all together and pulled together this amazing church. I know there will be bumps in the road, and it isn't going to always be easy, but I do know, I am blessed to be a part of this. If someone had told me this is what I would be doing now a year ago, I would have laughed at them. I meant to take my camera, but of course, thinking of all the other things I had to do, I totally forgot it! www.reallife.cc

Halloween Party!

Some of our really close friends had an adult only Halloween Party last night. We got a babysitter and spent way too much money on our costumes. We stayed out too late and had to get up too early this morning with the kids! It is so funny how times change...by late, I mean we came home at 11pm. Is this what turning 30 means? Staying out until 11 is late? Well, nonetheless, we had a blast. They had a karaoke machine that was the life of the party...or maybe I should say my husband was the life of the party. He went as a 70's pro-wrestler and was hilarious the entire night. I went as a fairy (with blond hair), but my wings came off early on in the night. It was fun to dress up with other people and have a good time without little children pulling on us the whole night.

Caleb and Mommy Date

Every once in awhile, I will take Caleb on a "date". Daddy does "hang-outs". We started this after we had Abby and we could tell how much he thrived on having our individual attention. Sometimes, I take him on my errands, stop and get ice cream, and call it a "date". Yesterday, though, we went on an actual date. He has been wanting to go to As You Wish to paint something of his very own (he got this idea after I went with some girlfriends a few months back). When we got there, he saw all the neat pieces that he could paint, and of all the cars, trucks, and balls, he chose to do a cactus. He is fascinated with cactus. I painted a picture frame with his handprint and he painted a cactus. We then got some ice cream, and I just had to take a picture of it...because it is bright green and blue...with gummy bears. One day, he will learn that brownie and caramel are the way to go...but at least I wasn't tempted in the slightest bit to eat some of his ice cream. We laughed, we talked, and we bonded...I love those moments. Yesterday was a moment in time I hope I carry in my heart forever.

Kiss summer goodbye!

Now, in most places...telling summer goodbye is a sad thing. Most people dread the short and cold days of winter. However, where I am, I LOVE October through May. This is by far my favorite time of year. My children spent so much time outside this weekend. It was so refreshing to have a cool breeze in the air and a fun time playing. We set up the bounce castle this weekend and the kids had a blast!

Love Language

So, I have taken the time to write about many people in my life, but I haven't really focused on the most valuable person in my life yet. I have wanted to respect his privacy, but that doesn't mean a little braggin can't happen!

DS and I have been married for almost five years now! WOW! The time goes by so fast! He is a wonderful, dedicated, loyal, and loving man. I really can't imagine going through life with anyone but him. He is my partner through and through. We make good decisions together and I think we both truly love each other in an unconditional way.

However, our marriage is not perfect. We have had some really tough times, and yet, we have always pulled through. We have a couple of ways to get through those rocky times. One way, is that we have both decided we are committed to the marriage, not just each other. That way, when the person upsets you, you are still committed. Another way, is that we try to focus on each other's love language. Your love language is the way you "express" love and "feel" loved. The way that you show others that you love them is your love language. We all speak our own language! The problem lies in the fact that your spouse, partner, or child may not speak the same language, and therefore, does not feel "loved" by you.

DS is a quality time person. He wants my time and he wants my attention. In return, he gives me his time and attention. I, however, love words of affirmation. I love to be appreciated verbally for what I do, written notes, or told "I love you." We don't speak the same language! My husband has been so amazing lately, because I haven't had the "quality" time to spend with him because we are getting ready to launch a new church at the end of the month. Every extra minute I have is spent on children's ministry. He keeps encouraging me verbally and through email though. That's my guy!

Love languages can cross over to any relationship, and once you figure out some one's love language, you can make them feel loved no matter what. I am in the process of trying to figure out Caleb's love language. I think his might be touch. From the time he was first born, he has wanted to be held, kissed on, cuddled, and hugged. To this very day, he loves to be in one of our arms. Abby on the other hand, I have no idea! She pretends to talk all day, so maybe hers will be words...I mean after all, she does take after her mother!

Lost and Found

What I am about to write about, has truly been one of the most fearful moments in my life. In retrospect, it really wasn't that long, or probably as big of a deal as I made it out to be...but other than when Caleb was hospitalized as a baby, I have never been so scared in my life.

The weather has FINALLY cooled down here...not a ton, but enough that park season is on! We normally go to the park right by our house, where I can see Caleb from all angles. Yesterday, I decided to take them to a HUGE park, Tumbleweed Park. As soon as I pulled up, I saw about 2-300 people playing on the various parts of the park. If you are in one area, then you can't see the other. Caleb was playing on the main playground, and I was on the small one right next to it with Abby. I was watching him play when Abby wanted to go down the slide, so I took her down the slide and immediately looked for him. I had seen him playing right before I went down the slide. When I looked up, he was gone. Completely gone. I did the mom thing in my head...he is probably sitting somewhere, on a slide, etc. etc. So, I walked circles for what felt like hours, but really was probably minutes, and no Caleb. Then, I realized, he had parked his bike over on the "street" bike path, and probably had gone back over there to ride some more. I ran over to that side of the park...his bike sat in the same spot he had left it. At this point, chills started to run down my spine. I felt the panick set in. I told myself to calm down, he had to be somewhere. I ran over to the sand pit, and didn't see him there. I looked over at the swings and did not see him there. So, at this point, real panick is setting in and I go around the main playground a few more times. A really nice mom grabbed me and told me I looked panicked, and did I need help. I broke into tears and told her my son was gone. She got up and started telling people to look for my son. About 20 different moms and dads started looking high and low for my son. The tears kept welling up in my eyes, and I would fight them back, telling myself he HAD to be there. I could not have the child that was kidnapped never to be seen again. I think at this point, I floated above myself and was watching it happen...not really, but it felt so surreal. So, I decided to look over at the swings one last time, and this taller kid moved out of the way, and there was Caleb trying to get on the tire swing. I lost it at that point. I ran to him, and immediately started just crying uncontrollably. His reply to all this, "I saw you going around and around the playground. I made sure I could see your pink shirt all the time." This is when I realized, he thought if he could see me, I could see him. Not so much! The one thing about Caleb is that he is very emotional. My little boy wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek, and said, "mommy, I am so sorry I ran away. I didn't mean too."

Needless to say, all is well now...and I couldn't stop praying yesterday and thanking God for my little boy. At that moment, when I thought there was a chance I might never see him again, nothing mattered. It was the emptiest moment of my life, other than the hospital, when I thought I might lose him. Parents are not made to lose their children, and yet, many do. He woke up last night for an hour, and I didn't even mind being up with him (I am sure that will change soon).

As a mommy, I want to be able to protect my children, and keep them safe forever. I realize that may not happen, but the truth of the matter is that safety only goes so far, and we don't have control over everything...losing them would be the worst.

Thank You Lord for my children. I feel lost most the time in raising them and teaching them, but I do know one thing for sure, I absolutely love them and they are the best thing you have ever blessed me with.