I've been tagged!

4 jobs I've had
1. Rainforest Cafe hostess
2. Robinson's May (men's suits)
3. Teacher
4. YMCA site director

4 movies I can watch over and over again
1. Clueless
2. The Notebook
3. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
4. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

4 Places I have lived
1. Arvada, Colorado
2. Malibu, California
3. Florence, Italy
4. Portland, Oregon

4 Guilty Pleasures
1. Internet/email
2. Ice Cream
3. T.V. shows (Grey's Anatomy, Friday Night Lights, Desperate Housewives etc.)
4. Wine (must have a glass at night...I just gotta)

4 Places I have been on Vacation
1. Myrtle Beach, SC
2. The Virgin Islands
3. Hawaii
4. Paris

Favorite Foods
1. Pizza
2. Good salad- with yummy add-ins... light on the lettuce please
3. brownie
4. Greek food

4 websites I can visit
1. my blog/friends blogs
2. craigslist
3. target
4. old navy

4 places I would rather be right now
1. On the beach
2. at the mall
3. taking a walk with a friend ;)
4. on an airplane with my hubby and NO KIDS flying to some exotic vacation

4 books I love
1. Harry Potter
2. The Notebook
3. 40 Days of Purpose
4. The Power of a Praying Wife

4 things I would like to know how to do
1. Be a nurse
2. sew
3. Plan meals efficiently and economically
4. cut/color hair

Neglected Body Parts
1. tummy
2. derrier
3. legs
4. the milk bank (formally known as breasts but now known as saggy things which hang from my chest)

Things that I worry about
1. About my children growing up to love God and love others
2. Eating healthy and teaching my children to eat healthy
3. money
4. Something horrible and catastrophic happening to hubby or children

4 Happy moments
1. Saying "I do" to DS
2. Graduating from college
3. Both children being born
4. Trying out for Deal or No Deal

4 things I want to do this year
1. Sell the house!
2. Train for a half marathon
3. Get a job for myself that doesn't compromise my children/family
4. Plan a party for our 3oth birthdays

4 people I am tagging (you can do it in an email)
1. Nichole Hammontree
2. Anna Smith
3. Dae-Sung Yi
4. Vicki Diemert

Too obsessed...

It has been almost two weeks since I posted, and you want to know why? I am completely and totally obsessed with a show...Friday Night Lights. It isn't on right now...so I have been watching the first season on nbc.com. I am telling you, it is the BEST show I have seen in a LONG time. I can't get enough...after each episode that I watch, I have to control my hand from clicking on the NEXT episode.

Let me explain how this obsessiveness has always played out in my life...I have always had somewhat of an "obsessive" behavior pattern. Whatever I decide to do, I usually do it 110% and become absolutely obsessed with it. If I decide to start exercising, I am not okay with 3 times a week...oh no...for me it has to be everyday, or it doesn't count (I know that is not true logically). If I am eating healthy and on a "health-kick", then I go all out...no cheating whatsoever, and it becomes my obsession. Because this has always been my personality, I have always had to control myself when it comes to television shows or books. I can drown myself in a book (like Harry Potter--which was FABULOUS if you haven't read the last one) or a show, or even a movie because I absolutely love being taken to this other world. I love learning about people, places, and how they all interact. It fascinates me. I don't know if this is a good thing, or a bad thing, but I am in the midst of an absolute obsession right now, called, FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS. Dae-Sung and I caught a couple of re-runs right at the end of the season, and it trapped us. We both wondered why we couldn't get into it at first (we tried at the beginning of the season). So, now, every possible split second I get...I run to the computer, go to nbc.com and I watch my next episode...pretty pathetic.

But, you know I have to connect this to real life somehow...and I started thinking about if I can get that obsessed with fictional characters that don't even exist, how much more does God obsess over us who really do exist? Not in a bad way, but a good way. He is watching my show everyday day in and day out, and he is watching your show too. He knows everything that goes on. The difference is that we can go to Him in prayer and ask for help in our lives, to praise Him for the blessings, and have Him guide us everyday. These poor people in this fictional show don't have that chance...but bringing me back to reality, I DO!! I have the chance to let God in and let him be obsessed with me! How awesome is that? He loves me so much, that out of every person on this planet, he still pays attention to me. That amazes me. Who am I that He could love me so much? But, He does...and He loves you too. Let Him in...and let Him be obsessed with you...

Say "cheese"!

I wish there was a way for me to explain all of the new and cute things that Abby does each day. She is gaining about a word or two a week, and she is cruising everywhere. She thinks if she puts her hand to her chest (which is the sign for please) then she should get whatever she asks for! Her favorite toy right now is the remote and anybody's drink...we all know how germaphobe I am...so I have to work on breaking her of that!

Today she had her very first peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and so far, no sign of an allergy! She LOVED it and she literally ate every piece off of her tray, which is rare! Now if only she could teach her brother how to eat...

Battle of the buldge...

Meaning my buldge...right in the middle of my body. I am finding it increasingly difficult to maintain my womanly figure. I have had the excuse for the last year that I just had a baby...but that baby is now a year old...no more excuses of the baby. After two children in 3 years, let's just say my flat stomach is still there...it is just hidden under layers of battle wounds (aka fat).

I have gone up and down within a 10 lb range since about December, and right now I am more towards the upper end. I think I am really frustrated because the weather lately has been so hot that it is hard to even think about swimming, much less doing anything else. There still are not any gyms near us, or at least within 10 miles of us. There are about 3 that are "suppose" to open soon...but who knows how long that will be.

So...because of the lack of gym nearby, I decided yesterday to do pilates at home. It made me realize that my 30th birthday really is soon...too soon! I can honestly say that what use to come easy to me just a year or two ago, was so hard. It hurt to lift my legs and contort my body in the ways that the 110 pound girls on the television were doing. They made it look so effortless, while I, kept looking around my family room making sure there were no other eyes on me.

But you see, I am my own worst enemy when it comes to losing weight. I am so motivated during the day, but late afternoon and night time are my times of weakness. I begged my husband to go get ice cream for me last night, but he said just to chew gum instead. Grrrrr...who is he to keep me from my luxuries??!! I am just kidding...it actually worked. So, I chewed my gum and drank water, and I can't say the craving was totally gone, but at least a little bit.

So, I have decided that I must join a gym, even if it is 10 miles away, until one closer opens up. It is important to feel good about myself and to stay healthy so that I am around for a long time for my children. Maybe...just maybe...I can make that goal that I set when I turned 25, which was that I would be able to run a half marathon by the time I turned 30. I turn 30 in May...so maybe...just maybe...

Healthy dose of perspective...

Okay, so my last blog sounded a little whiny...I know...I know. But, I am telling you, I find this mom thing to be so hard and difficult! I thought it would be sunshine and roses...I honestly did. I have those people in my life though, that bring such wisdom and perspective. My father is one of those people. He is such an incredible man, who lives with complete integrity and honesty. He isn't afraid to tell me like it is, and yet, he is compassionate and understanding. Last night, we were talking and he told me that he remembers just how hard it was when us girls were all little, and then, he remembers how excited they were to get to the next stage of parenting...because it would just be a little easier. Now, we are all grown and they have grandkids. It made me realize, these hard days are just a tiny blip in my life. Before I know it, I will be snapping pictures at prom, giving them away in marriage, and holding my own little grandbaby. I am sure nobody expects life to zoom by them as quickly as it does...and wasting it away whining doesn't do anybody good.

This also made me start thinking that if my earthly father has such great perspective and wisdom, then how much more my Father in Heaven has perspective. He knows my life and what is ahead. He knows the bumps and the bruises, but also the joys and happiness that is still to come. I know I need to lean on Him and seek Him in all that I do...including parenting. I only get one shot at this parenting thing, so that is why I get so frustrated and scared to mess it up. It is by far the LARGEST responsibility that I have ever been given. BUT, I know if I lean on Him, and take the gift of earthly wisdom from those around me (such as my dad), then I know God will guide my parenting.

I love you dad! Thank you for all the wisdom...and perspective.

Had a bad day...

There is a song out that I kept singing last week, "I had a bad day..."--I don't know the rest, but that was enough for me! The reason I didn't really blog last week was because I was beside myself with depression. This isn't a "poor-me, or self-pity party...I truly was down in the dumps last week.

My son has NEVER been easy...from the day that he was born. He has always been anxious and excitable. But, before I explain him last week, let me say that he has the sweetest side of him...polite and cuddly. That is why I put the picture of him cuddling the dog...when C is doing well, that is how he is. But...last week, he got sick and let me tell you...he gave me more of a run for my money than I think I have ever had. He hit me, called me names, told me he hates me, and basically made my life miserable. Since he was sick, I didn't feel as if I had a real outlet, such as playdates or whatever. So, the thought that this is what I do ALL day EVERY day really started to bum me out...I am staying at home for what??!! To get beat up on and yelled at? This is when I decided, I HAVE to get a job! I WANT A JOB! But, we all know how that went...but alas, I am not giving up hope. I am trying to be diligent in prayer about C and about getting a job.

I think...that if I get a job, then all my problems with C will be resolved...but I know that is not true deep down inside. Truly though, I am bored to tears being a stay at home mom. I have so many friends who truly LOVE it...why can't I LOVE it? I feel like I put all this time, energy, and money into my education so that I can stay home and have babies. I had to take C to the doctor on Friday and it was the P.A. who saw us. I realized, I went to high school with the guy! Here is a guy who has accomplished being a doctor and I...well...I have figured out really well how to pop out children.

Okay, so I know those of you reading this are probably thinking that I need to realize what blessings my children are...and trust me, I do! I just think that it is time...time for a job. Time for me to have something else to do instead of play with play dough and watch Handy Manny for the 100th time. Time for C and I to have some healthy time apart. Yesterday, my parents took him the whole day since A is now sick from C last week, and he came home asleep last night. I felt so refreshed and excited to see him this morning. I realized it was the first day we had been apart since I was in the hospital with A. I need some space, but so does he. He has been an angel today and much easier...due to preschool this morning and a day away yesterday.

I know all of you moms understand out there...and I know those of you who aren't moms will get it when you become a mom! Being a mom is the HARDEST and most DIFFICULT job I have ever had...and I wonder if I am screwing it all up...so I go back to what I always lean on--prayer.

Dear Lord,
I ask that you would grant me wisdom in parenting. It is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. Please bless our family with an outlet for me and space for C, but keep us close together. I want to live for you Lord, and raise my children to do the same.
In Jesus Name,
Amen